The Closet
by tika12001
Summary: Jane and Maura hide in a closet. This leads to them coming out. Yep, it's the worst pun in the world, and I just used it. Badumtish!
1. Chapter 1

**_Title: The Closet_**

**_Rating: T (for language only)_**

**_Author: tika12001 (aka Katie)_**

**_Disclaimer: not mine, never will be, make no money, etc etc_**

**_Summary: Jane and Maura hide in a closet. This leads to them coming out. Yep, it's the worst pun in the world, and I just used it. Badumtish!_**

**_Author's notes: Wait, is pun the right word? Eh. I'm too sleepy for this shit. Okay, so this was originally a prompt from... I wanna say Vonny but since I have a question mark after her name in my prompts document, I'm thinking that I'm not entirely certain... anyway, it was a prompt from someone for my smut story. But then I wrote this and it feels okay as is. Only okay. What is writing? Bwahaha._**

**_I am soooo sorry about My Saving Grace. I'll try to have the next chapter up soon... but I've been kind of distracted lately. A good distracted, don't worry... a very good distracted. :-D So hopefully not too much longer! Anyways. I'll stop rambling so you can read. Xo_**

_R&amp;IR&amp;IR&amp;I_

"This is making me very itchy."

Jane rolled her eyes as she pulled open a drawer, carefully rifling through its contents while trying not to disturb anything. It was hard to see in the dim lighting, but she supposed that was what happened when you broke into an office in the middle of the night, looking for evidence illegally. "Well, I did say that you didn't have to come with me!"

"I still let you in!" Maura hissed, her voice seeming to come from only centimetres away from Jane's right ear. Jane jumped and glared at Maura who was indeed standing only about two inches away. Maura took a step back but continued talking. "So even if I _wasn't_ inside with you, I'd still get in trouble for aiding and abetting."

"Right, because I'd _totally_ rat you out. Also, this place has big, scary security system. You, genius. Genius says it would be easy to break in here, given the right algorit... something. Tell me you didn't see this conclusion." Jane shut the drawer with a huff. _Maybe in the next one._ She pulled open the next one with a flourish. It was almost completely empty. Of course.

"You would rat me out?" Maura sounded simultaneously horrified and genuinely surprised, and Jane rolled her eyes once more.

"Of course I wouldn't, you idiot. I'd make up something." She tugged on the handle for the next drawer. Locked. _Ha!_ "Maura, you still able to pick locks?"

"You would make something up? To protect me?" Maura asked, sounding completely awestruck. Jane sighed.

"Yes, of course I would. Best friends, remember? Now, the locks?"

"L-Biffs."

Jane smiled despite herself. "Yes. L-Biffs. Now... Maura?"

"Hmm?" Jane turned to see Maura with her eyebrows raised, looking pleasantly confused, and she couldn't help but let out a huff of laughter.

"The locks?"

"Oh! Right." Cheerfully, Maura pulled a bobby pin out of her hair, knelt down in front of the desk drawers, and happily set to her illegal task. Jane shook her head fondly. This woman...

"Hey! Up in the office!" The man's shout from the parking lot below was startling and entirely unwelcome. Jane swore loudly.

"Oh, and I was so close to getting it open too," Maura all but pouted, getting to her feet and looking petulant. Jane raised her hands in disbelief.

"Maura! We have a bit more to worry about than the damn drawer at the moment!" Jane hissed, grabbing Maura's wrist and listening carefully for noises inside the building.

Maura frowned, shaking off Jane's hand as she performed a slow pirouette, taking in their surroundings entirely. Grabbing Jane's wrist, she quickly dragged them over to a full length closet, and, tugging at Jane impatiently, got them both inside.

"Maura, that..." Jane whispered, but immediately shut up when the door to the office slammed open. _... is genius_, she finished silently, letting out a quiet sigh of relief as she watched through the slatted door as what looked like an overgrown ape bounced his way around the office.

"Oh..." Maura breathed in her ear and Jane shook her head fondly. Guaranteed Maura was going on a silent monologue right now about exactly what hormones and chemicals and whatnot would cause such an awful lot of hair and such an abnormally large build on a human, and Jane found herself in the odd predicament of being both grateful that she didn't have to listen to the verbal onslaught, while also being vaguely curious about what exactly Maura would say. _Being best friends with a genius is rubbing off on me_, Jane thought fondly, as she shifted her weight slightly, but her thought was abruptly cut off when something jabbed her in the side. Being careful to keep her body completely still, she felt around behind her, carefully running her fingers over the items in the closet. It seemed to be completely full of random junk, but she quickly found what had jabbed her... an umbrella, laid at an odd angle. Jane shifted once more, away from it this time, and only then did she realize how closely pressed to Maura she was. Glittering eyes met hers in the gloom of the closet, and Jane swallowed heavily.

"NOTHING HERE, BOSS!" Ape Man bellowed outside the closet door and Jane jumped slightly. Maura's hands came up and pressed themselves against Jane's hips reassuringly and Jane breathed deeply, using the touch to ground herself and relax once more.

"Are you sure? Did you check the closet?" This voice was further away.

_Shit_. Jane tensed up again, barely aware of Maura's hands bunching the material at her hips nervously. Jane glanced out the slats anxiously, to see Ape Man looking at the closet reproachfully.

"Fucking shitballs... know how to do me job..." Ape Man muttered angrily, stalking over to the closet door. Jane tensed more, feeling like her muscles were about to snap under the tension. Ape Man slammed a fist on the door and instinctively, Jane curled into Maura... whether to protect or to be protected, she wasn't quite sure... but then, he was moving away... the office door was opening... and he was out of the room.

Minutes passed in utter silence... the only noises being that of the men who were still roaming the building, and slowly, excruciatingly slowly, Jane felt her muscles relax.

"Jane...?" Maura breathed, but, hearing another door slamming somewhere below them, Jane shook her head and put a finger to Maura's lips.

"No. Don't," she breathed, "wait till they're gone."

Maura nodded, and as soon as Jane let her hand fall, her arms were around Jane's waist, her head pressed into Jane's neck. Slowly, carefully, Jane wrapped her hands around Maura's back and, using the scant inch or two they had spare, gently rocked them back and forth. Again, she wasn't sure if this was meant to be comforting for Maura... or comforting for herself. If she was protecting Maura... or if Maura was protecting her.

For the first time, Jane found herself considering the unspoken third option... that it was both.

Finally... _finally_... the noises in the office building quietened down. There was a bang of a door on what sounded like the first floor, and then utter silence.

"I... ith it thafe?" Maura lisped out in a voice that barely got above a breath, and Jane felt a rush of affection at the realization that Maura listened to her too... it had been months ago that Jane mentioned to Maura that 's' was the easiest sound to overhear, that in a situation where quiet is key, it's best to lisp. And Maura had remembered.

"I think tho..." Jane lisped in return. "But..."

Maura nodded in understanding and her head found its pillow in the crook of Jane's shoulder again. Jane felt her heart speed up disconcertingly, and was all too aware that Maura would be able to feel it, but instead of pulling back and away, Jane bit her lip and pulled Maura even closer, resting her cheek against soft honey blonde curls. It felt like the scariest thing she'd ever done for some reason, but when Maura sighed in contentment, Jane couldn't help but smile.

But then... Maura was moving back slightly. All too aware of the stuff that surrounded them and the resounding crash it would make should any of the items fall, Jane tightened her grip around her waist, but Maura was not pulling away. She was only pulling back slightly. And for the second time that night, Jane found herself staring into glittery eyes, standing in a closet, with feelings pounding through her whole body that she'd rather not identify.

Vaguely, she wondered if this was somehow a metaphor for her entire life.

All thought processes stopped however, when one of Maura's hands released its grip on the material at Jane's hip, reaching up to caress her face. Jane felt her eyes flutter shut at the feather light touch... but they snapped open again at the gentle touch of lips to her own.

The sound of several engines starting up and cars peeling out of the parking lot below pulled Jane out of her stupor and she pulled herself away reluctantly. Feeling for the gun on her left hip, Jane carefully opened the closet door and peered around the dark room. All too aware that it could be a trap, she gestured for Maura to stay put and pressed her back up against the wall, heading to the window and looking down at the parking lot. All was still and silent. Still moving carefully and with her back to the wall, Jane moved to the door, opened it as quietly as possible, and, after listening intently for several seconds, chanced moving out, her eyes darting in as many directions as possible. Finally satisfied that the site was, in fact, vacated once more, she moved back into the room and opened the closet door, allowing Maura to step out.

"Okay. I think we're done."

"What about the drawer?" Maura asked, pointing, and Jane glanced at the drawer in question.

"Nah, it can stay loc..." she did a double take. "It's open now," she said blankly.

"Officer Franklin opened it when he was in here."

Jane blinked. "Officer whositnow?"

"Officer Franklin."

"Ape Man is a _cop?_"

"'Ape Man'?" Maura repeated, clearly amused.

"He's... big. And... hairy..." Jane gestured wildly then lowered her arms, feeling foolish. "He's undercover?"

"Yes. That's why he didn't open the closet door."

"He... right. But...! Hmm." Jane stared at the floor, scratching her head sheepishly. "Wait! How did _you_ know he's a cop when I don't?"

Maura, meanwhile, had pulled a small packet of tissues out of her purse and, pulling one out of the packet, was diligently wiping down the cupboard door... Jane could only assume the reason for this was to wipe away fingerprints. She smiled, shaking her head, and decided not to mention the numerous objects they had touched on their way up to this office. Maura was not suited for a life of crime, that was for sure.

"Maura?"

"Hmm? Oh, he's a transfer from the Waltham office. He's only new. I met him last week."

"Why didn't I meet him then too?"

Maura popped the tissue back into her purse and looked at the door with satisfaction. "You were asleep in my office. When I attempted to wake you, you grumbled something about pink penguins and rolled away from me. I decided to leave the issue."

"Pink... right." Jane nodded awkwardly, looking down at the floor, suddenly feeling awkward. She was remembering what happened in the closet and suddenly, looking at the floor seemed to be the most interesting thing in the world.

"Jane?"

Jane blinked, suddenly aware that fabulous red shoes had just moved into her range of sight. She bit her lip. "Yes?"

"Are you going to look in the drawer?"

"Yes," Jane replied resolutely. She didn't move.

Maura sighed. The shoes moved away. There was the noise of rummaging, of papers shifting, then the shoes were back. "I think this is what you were after."

"You'll be itchy. You're stealing," Jane muttered, then immediately felt like slapping herself in the face. _You'll be itchy... really?_

"That's okay," Maura murmured. The shoes stepped closer, and Jane couldn't help but follow them to calves, thighs, hips, waist, breasts, shoulders... and finally, up to the face she knew so well.

"Maura?"

"I think we're out of the closet now, Jane. Literally and figuratively."

Jane let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess so."

There was silence as Maura reached out, running a gentle finger down Jane's face. Jane couldn't help but move her face into the touch, and when Maura pulled away, Jane grabbed her hand instinctively. Her heart was pounding, but the hand in her own was cool, still... it grounded Jane. As Maura always could... as _only_ Maura could. Slowly, Jane brought it to her mouth and kissed it softly, watching as Maura's lips turned up in a happy smile.

"Take me home, Jane?"

"Of course, m'lady," Jane sassed in return, bowing deeply, before heading out the door in front of Maura, carefully sweeping the area with both eyes and gun as they made their way downstairs.

Before she left the room though, Jane couldn't help but glance at the closet. Yes, it was true... they were out of the closet now. Their feelings... their emotions... and it scared Jane to death. She didn't know what this meant for them... for _her_. But... she glanced at Maura quickly... she thought she'd be willing to take the risk.

For Maura.

**_END_**

_Hi. Fancy seeing you here. Small world, isn't it? bwahaha.  
Okay, yes, I go completely weird when I'm in a good mood. Er. Weirder. Still. WHEEEE! *runs around* YAY FOR DISTRACTIONS. BOO FOR DISTRACTIONS NOT BEING HERE RIGHT NOW. Me miss my distraction. Sigh.  
Oh, you're still here. Ahem. Sorry. So, thanks for reading, and if you could possibly review I'd love you forever but all good if you don't. Except that I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND... oh fuck it. Too much effort. *snores*  
Bye! Love to all, -Katie xoxo  
EDIT: I can't believe 'dob you in' isn't a worldwide thing. I'M GONNA DOB ON YOU! Anyone? Really? Hmph. Anyway, fixed that up along with a few other little errors, plus extended on the undercover Officer Franklin bit too... may extend on this with other humourous little one shots about closets and coming out but we'll see. Thanks for reading!  
P.S. I also TOTALLY threw in a reference to my awesome new jammies. BECAUSE I CAN. so there. :-P  
_


	2. Chapter 2

_Short little chapter 2. Don't know if I'll do any more but... who knows. This is fun. :-P I'm gonna keep it marked as complete though, and just add to it if the muse strikes. :-D_

_R&amp;IR&amp;IR&amp;I_

"Okay, _why_ are we in a closet again?"

"Jane, _shhh!_" Maura giggled, pressing a finger to Jane's lips as she attempted to glare through her silent laughter. Jane raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"No, seriously, I..."

Maura's eyes widened and Jane stopped talking... just in time too, by the sounds of it.

"Okay," sighed Korsak, sounding like he was in the hallway outside the room. "I'm here. Now, _what_ was so urgent that I needed to come down here?"

Frankie's voice this time, and Jane rolled her eyes at the sheer utter glee in his voice. She hadn't heard him that excited since the Simpsons creators brought out new action figures. Jane rolled her eyes again. Her brother was a dork. "I wanted you to come down here, cause I knew there would be less chance of being overheard here!"

"In... the morgue," Korsak said flatly, his tone unamused. "In Maura's domain, in other words."

"Oh no, Maura can't hear this."

Maura cocked her head curiously, and Jane stuffed a fist in her mouth to suppress a snort of mirth at the puppy like movement.

"So why are we in the _morgue_ then?"

"Technically, we're not actually in the..." Frankie stopped abruptly and hastily retreated, "okay, okay, sorry! We're in the morgue. Well, we're _outside_ of the... okay!"

Jane bit down harder on her fist as she imagined the look of sheer exasperation on Korsak's face. Maura tilted her head to the other side and Jane lost it, sliding silently down the inside of the closet (thanking Heaven that this space was at least much tidier than the one during their office building break and enter adventure), tears rolling down her face as she struggled to breathe. Maura looked at her worriedly, but Jane shooed her off, pressing her ear to the closet door as she gulped in precious air, attempting to calm herself down.

"Do you have something to tell me Frankie, or can I go upstairs?"

"Okay," Frankie said slowly (sounding much calmer and more cautious now, Jane noted with glee), "first of all, Maura won't hear this because she's out to lunch with Jane."

Jane looked up at Maura, who immediately looked guilty. They _had_ been intending to go to lunch... but as soon as Jane walked into Maura's office, Maura was all over her, kissing her like her life depended upon it. _Not,_ Jane mused, rubbing her lips and feeling the lipstick that had rubbed off there,_that I mind._

"Okay. And?"

"Okay, and Maura _can't_ hear about this because..."

There was silence and Jane pressed herself a little bit closer to the door, straining to hear, when...

"Oh for God's sake, because _what_, Frankie? _What?_ I do have work to do!"

Jane pressed her fist back into her mouth, barely suppressing the snort that was trying to make its way out. If Frankie was trying to give Korsak hints... tell him without actually telling him... she'd have to say he was fighting a losing battle. Korsak was one of the best detectives she'd worked with, bar none... he could pick a suspect lying a mile off... but for some reason, when it came to personal matters, he was _clueless_.

Frankie sighed loudly. "_Because_ Korsak... Jane? And Maura?"

Jane froze, looking up at Maura. Maura lifted one shoulder helplessly. _'__How could he know?'_ she mouthed. Jane shrugged, pressing her ear back to the door. _He used to read my diary,_ she thought wildly, her mind racing, _back in the 2.5 seconds I actually kept a diary. And he used to read any notes I got from friends or boyfriends. Fucked if I know how he figured it out, _if_he figured it out... but he'll have used some sneaky little brother fuckery._

"...ye-e-es?" Korsak drew out questioningly, and Jane let out a breath of relief. Thank God for Korsak's cluelessness.

Oh, except Frankie was still there. Right. "Come on, Korsak, you don't see it?"

"See _what?_"

Jane began silently plotting Frankie's death. She glanced up at Maura, who was frowning (as ferociously as a kitten, mind you) at the door, and she grinned. Huh, seemed like Maura had her murderous side too.

Well, she _was_ the daughter of a mob boss, so...

"Jane and Maura! They're together!"

That was it for Maura. Silently, she exploded. Sliding down so that she was at the same eye level as Jane, she mouthed out her vehement diatribe. '_That is _not_okay!' _she mouthed, gesturing violently. _'__You do _not_force someone out of the closet like that! How dare he?'_ Jane nodded emphatically. '_No, Jane! It is _not_okay! I should go and...'_ At the last second – because it truly looked like Maura was getting ready to get up and storm out of the closet in a closet induced rage (and what an odd sentence _that_ was) – Jane grabbed Maura's wrist and held her back.

_'__Maura, we are in. The. Closet.'_

Maura frowned, then her eyes widened in sudden understanding. _'__Oh Jane, are you not ready to come out?'_ Her mouth was forming ridiculous shapes in order to keep her words easy to lip read, and Jane couldn't help but snort, leaning against the closet door for support as she became overcome by a fit of the giggles once more.

Turned out, leaning against a closet door? _Not_ Jane's smartest move.

"Whoooa!" Jane yelled as she tumbled backwards, reaching out blindly and... well, that's the story of how Jane and Maura ended up coming out of the closet to Frankie and Korsak.

"Huh," said Korsak, who had rushed into the room after hearing the commotion, only to find Jane lying on the floor and Maura mostly lying on top of her, Maura's lipstick all over Jane's mouth. "Well, I _didn't_ see it Frankie... but I do now."

"Told you so," Frankie grinned.

"Shut up," Jane grumbled, getting to her feet and snatching the tissue offered by a grinning Korsak. Wiping the lipstick off her face, she glared threateningly. "Not a word, you two. Not a word."

"Oh, our lips are sealed," Korsak grinned, and he and Frankie quickly made their way out of the room. Jane sighed, counting silently.

_1... 2... and..._

The explosion of laughter came right on cue.

"Shall we pick up where we left off?" Maura grinned wickedly, and Jane smiled.

"Sure, but let's promise to _never_ get into a closet together again, okay?"

Maura advanced slowly. "Oh, we'll see Jane... we'll see."

**_END CHAPTER TWO_**

_HI PEOPLE. Oh, I forgot to say that I edited a few little things in the first chapter. Just added in a bit more detail and stuff. But this is utter fluffy, funny (hopefully) nonsense, so don't, you know... I can't remember how I was going to finish that sentence. JUST DON'T YOU KNOW, OKAY. That's all I ask... *overly dramatic sniff*_

My beautiful distraction is back, yaaay! 52 days till we meet! Not that I'm counting! :-P And since she's sleeping at the moment (I think), I might even try to get some more of the next chapter of My Saving Grace done. It's all in my head now, the reason that chapters are coming so slowly... it's just all so crucial and I'm so worried that I'll fuck it up majorly somehow and forget some major plot point that I need to stitch up neatly and... GAH. I'll be okay. I just need to write and then I'll be fine. I hope. :-P

Anyway, as always, thank you so much for reading, and if you could review, I'd be forever grateful but don't feel obligated or anything. :-) But if I made you smile at least once, I'd love to know about it. Just saying.

_Love to all, -Katie xoxo_


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